Just bad planning

We’re cutting 11 percent from the National Science Foundation’s budget, because, firstly, these science people do things we can’t understand, and things that mean nothing to us are therefore meaningless. Like Portuguese or Canadian Football. Second, we are very disappointed in the science we’ve been getting so far, such as the squandered promise of the laser beam, which instead of incinerating hordes of bug-eyed monsters as they exit their shiny spaceships is used to frustrate cats and highlight important features in PowerPoint presentations. Lastly, our astronomers should have scheduled this eclipse for a weekend, when more folks could enjoy it.