Also, I stubbed my toe.

Friends, we got packs of coyotes roaming Chicago while the wild hogs are closing in on downtown Tulsa. We’re separating mothers from their children and shipping them off across an archipelago of detention centers. We got rivers of molten rock gradually paving over the 50th state. Somehow we got the Canadians pissed off – the Canadians! – and it’s probably only a matter of time before the French are asking for their statue back. Not to go all Jeremiah on you, but just because we’re not roasting rats over garbage fires yet doesn’t mean this isn’t the end of the world.