Monday, July 16, 2012

Brando in “Don Juan DeMarco?" Maybe 1.34.

Some things are difficult to quantify. That's frustrating to marketers, who like metrics because that's how they get paid. So I've invented a new one, the measure of Absolute Coolness. One Brando Unit is defined as how cool Marlon Brando was at his coolest moment. That's way too cool for everyday use, so we break it down into tenths- the deciBrando (dB) to precisely state the coolness of ordinary stuff. 1965 Mustang? 6.84 dB. Eartha Kitt? 8.67. And, just as a hypothetical, the only 9.99 I can imagine would be Miles Davis and James Dean strapped together with a rattlesnake.

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