Just maybe

If there’s this one thing you like to cook that you always end up saying, “Well, that’s just more for me,” maybe you should change recipes. If you keep saying “I can quit whenever I want,” maybe it’s time to wonder why you never want to. If you think the people who make garments have been sneakily and gradually using less cloth every year, maybe you should admit you need bigger pants. If you notice that somebody is looking at you slackjawed, head cocked liked a puzzled dog, maybe you should shut up about what a great listener you are.

Spitballing, Brainstorming, Benchmarking

Every field of endeavor has its jargon. Like when farmers are running implements across their acreage real fast, they’ll call it walking the dog to make work sound like fun. Soldiers might talk about the pink mist or blue on blue contact to make horrible things sound a little less horrible. In the cubicles where the business of business gets done, you might jump on a call to hammer out a game plan that puts boots on the ground. Maybe circle back to grab hold of some actionable metrics. All this language to make it sound like you’re doing something.

Mandate of Heaven

I read once about how a Chinese emperor might spend his days moving through spare harmonious uncluttered spaces no matter where he walked in his palace. It was because when he looked as if he wanted to sit, a chair would miraculously appear. If it seemed he might want write, suddenly he would have desk, paper, pen, ink. The people who provided these services where invisible, unnoticed, unmentioned. My life is kind of like that, but it’s globally outsourced so it’s hard to feel any personal responsibility. I own maybe a billionth each of maybe a billion slaves. You too.

Also, accordions

We’ve had some pretty loony ideas. I mean collectively – not just me and my immediate family. “Let’s visit Thomas Edison’s boyhood home,” is not all that weird. But what about “Why not boil up these tiny lobsters with some hot pepper and wash ‘em down with beer.” “Hey! We could set fire to these leaves and suck the smoke into our lungs!” “I’ll bet this special powder could drive a small chunk of metal through a tube fast enough to punch a hole right through a human!” And, “Walking is so slow. Let’s sit on these enormous powerful excitable animals.”