Hard rock for soft people

Remember when we used to make fun of those easy listening stations? That terrible schmaltzy elevator soundtrack for old people? Aren’t you grateful that we were hipper than that? We listened to new and exciting sounds, uptempo mod beats that captured the dynamic and heavy changes we were going through, expressed the intense emotions we were feeling like no generation before us had ever felt anything. Ever. That’s why we stick with those artists through dye jobs, heart surgeries, liver transplants. Because we know they won’t ask us to listen to anything we’ve never heard before. What could be easier?