Monday, March 29, 2010

A bright cold day

Progressives and liberals and other whiny types who like to hide behind the Constitution like it was their mommy's skirt are all upset about a recent Supreme Court ruling that allows unlimited political contributions from corporations. Get over it. Sure there's a downside; it's now a matter of legal precedent that an abstract business entity enjoys all the rights of citizenship. But look at the bright side. Thanks to the Supreme Court, anything you want to do with your money, from buying an election to scoring crystal meth to hiring a hitman, is now theoretically defensible as constitutionally protected speech.

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Importance of Membership

We know you depend on 100 Word Rant each and every week and that's why we're coming to you during our fundraising drive to ask won't you please do your part your support is important maybe you're in your car or talking around the water cooler and the topic of 100 Word Rant comes up and when you get right down to it this is a community and the people behind the scenes here at 100 Word Rant who bring the quality you've come to expect imagine if you woke up one Monday morning and 100 Word Rant wasn't there.

Monday, March 15, 2010

More Big News

The world's largest catsup bottle is located in Collinsville, Illinois. The locals there united to form the Catsup Bottle Preservation Group to save this historic structure from demolition, thereby preserving a spelling which has of late been falling into desuetude. At one time, there were two dominant brands of America's favorite condiment: Heinz Ketchup and Hunt's Catsup. They sounded much the the same. They tasted exactly the same. Each devoted a sizable chunk of energy and resources to convincing the consuming public their product was in some way superior. I can't think of a better metaphor for our two-party system.

Monday, March 8, 2010

The Noblest Obbligato

Talk about aftershocks. A hideous horrible natural disaster has forced us all to say the word Chile more often than we are accustomed to. The other day I got corrected because I said it as if it was chili, like a bowl of chili. “No, no, no,” she said. “CHEE-lay. It's pronounced CHEE-lay.” I was appropriately chastened, but then I got to thinking; I'll bet she says Paris and not pah-REE. Berlin, not bear-LEEN. But Chile is south of the border. Condescension is what it is. And it ruins an old third-grade joke that also invokes Turkey, China, and Denmark.

Monday, March 1, 2010

We are professional grade

One of the reasons new restaurants keep opening and closing all the time is that folks who love to cook good food keep thinking they should get into the business of serving strangers. But the service industry is a tough scuffle for people accustomed to luxuries like self respect. It that sense, cooking is like playing music or being funny. So if you like cooking and are thinking of opening that little bistro, look at it this way: You probably like sex, too. You may be very good at it. That doesn't mean you should start doing it for money.