Monday, January 29, 2024

Omaha and Lincoln, if you're wondering

Inspired by the example of that harbinger of tomorrow, Alabama, Nebraska State Senator Loren Lippincott has introduced legislation to make asphyxiation with nitrogen an Official Nebraska State Method of Execution. Senator Lippincott represents a place called Central City, which unless I am very much mistaken was also home to the Flash back in the 1960s. It is just a bit more than a two hour drive from Bellevue, the third biggest city in Nebraska and the second largest city in the U.S. named Bellevue. Is thinking up better ways to kill people a normal part of a Nebraska legislator’s job?

Monday, January 22, 2024

Your Partner in Progress

In today’s fast-paced business climate, where just-in-time materials strategies are driving new economies of scale in the logistics of outsourced supply-side input streams, key operators in the manufacturing sector are turning to turn-key solutions to address their downstream customer’s demands for flexibility and expertise with a widening array of off-the-shelf offerings that provide mission-critical support that allows them to leverage their key competencies for success in a global market. That’s why, to serve you better, Amalgamated Punch and Federated Chisel have joined forces to form Consolidated Punch and Chisel, the full-service one-stop resource for all your punch and chisel needs.

Monday, January 15, 2024

Size Matters

Cawker City, Kansas, is one of several places claiming the world’s biggest ball of twine. The thing is, ball of twine arguments have gotten so much media attention that they are no longer considered quirky enough to warrant the full attention of true biggest stuff aficionados. Just outside of Effingham, Illinois, (motto: “I Wonder Who’s Effingham Now”) stands America’s second biggest cross. It is 198 feet tall, which for comparison is nearly 1,358 times the height of the typical crucifix such as might be worn around the neck, which would likely escape your attention as you passed Effingham on I-57.

Monday, January 8, 2024


I didn’t write the following, just cut and pasted: “In slugs it is often impossible to distinguish closely related species using external features and so reliable identification requires dissection to examine the genitalia. Slugs produce two types of mucus: one is thin and watery, and the other thick and sticky. Some species of slug secrete slime cords to suspend a pair during copulation. In the banana slugs, the penis sometimes becomes trapped inside the body of the partner. Apophallation allows the slugs to separate themselves by one or both of the slugs chewing off the other's or its own penis.”

Monday, January 1, 2024

The Island of the Danged

We should have seen what was coming when the Captain stubbed his toe. We had at that moment disembarked and were standing on the shore surveying the island which, it seemed, was fated to be our home until such time as rescue should arrive. We were: Myself, O’Connor the industrialist and his charming daughter, Schmidt the brusque and vigorous circus strongman, and the monocled and highly decorated Prinz Kraznoffski escorting the much-celebrated chanteuse Mademoiselle Mimi. How were we to know that none of us would escape mishaps as grievous as our Captain’s, or in some cases, almost nearly as bad.