Monday, June 25, 2018

Or must I knock up my solicitor?

Association football is the most popular team sport in the world. It is known in the United States as soccer to distinguish it from other games called football like Gaelic football, Australian football, Rugby football (League and Union), American football, and also Canadian football which features mayonnaise instead of ketchup. You know what it is when an American starts calling soccer football? It’s pretentious, that’s what it is, like a philosophy major at a Midwestern land-grant college smoking Gauloises. What are you going to do next? Start calling trucks lorries, cookies biscuits, fries chips, chips crisps? Stop it. Talk normal.

Monday, June 18, 2018

The coexistence of normality and bottomless cruelty

Want to understand what Hannah Arendt described as the “banality of evil?” Look at Jeff Sessions’ face, listen to his voice, as he declares war on children. It would be nice to think, “We’re better than this,” but the bare fact of it proves we are not. We build camps to hold undesirables. We huddle in craven acquiescence. This is what we are. This how we treat people. It’s pure-D meanness. If this is how we protect the land of the free and the home of the brave, why even bother? The free and the brave have all gone away.

Monday, June 11, 2018

Also, I stubbed my toe.

Friends, we got packs of coyotes roaming Chicago while the wild hogs are closing in on downtown Tulsa. We’re separating mothers from their children and shipping them off across an archipelago of detention centers. We got rivers of molten rock gradually paving over the 50th state. Somehow we got the Canadians pissed off – the Canadians! – and it’s probably only a matter of time before the French are asking for their statue back. Not to go all Jeremiah on you, but just because we’re not roasting rats over garbage fires yet doesn’t mean this isn’t the end of the world.

Monday, June 4, 2018


Here’s what we know: After an unknowable interval during which everything that ever was or will be was contained in a single inconceivably compact package, it fell apart and since then everything has been getting further and further from everything else. The tiniest things tend to clump together; the biggest things to break up. Basically, it’s all trying to turn into cold iron and then remain absolutely still, maybe forever. That’s it. We used to think that maybe there would come a time when everything would fall back together again. But the more we learn the less likely that seems.