Monday, June 25, 2018

Or must I knock up my solicitor?

Association football is the most popular team sport in the world. It is known in the United States as soccer to distinguish it from other games called football like Gaelic football, Australian football, Rugby football (League and Union), American football, and also Canadian football which features mayonnaise instead of ketchup. You know what it is when an American starts calling soccer football? It’s pretentious, that’s what it is, like a philosophy major at a Midwestern land-grant college smoking Gauloises. What are you going to do next? Start calling trucks lorries, cookies biscuits, fries chips, chips crisps? Stop it. Talk normal.

2 comments:

Aggie said...

"...like a philosophy major at a Midwestern land-grant college smoking Gauloises."

Or the art student at a Midwestern university in the '70s who watched in disbelief as a woman ate a pizza with chopsticks at a vegetarian cafe called Good Karma (which was known to certain others as Bad Coma).

Dave Maleckar said...

Absurd! Chopsticks are for spaghetti! For pizza you need Vice-Grip pliers.