Monday, January 25, 2021

cold comfort

I think I’m like a lot of people in that I talk about Tastee-Freez all the time without really knowing much about it. Join me as we find out more – Learning Can Be Fun! I checked Wikipedia and here’s the deal:  Founded in 1950 in Joliet, Illinois, Tastee-Freez had grown to almost 1,800 stores by 1957. There were only 48 states at that time, so that’s an average of 37.5 per state. (Those half stores are troubling until you realize that many locations must have straddled state lines.) Today they have eight locations. Eight. Dear God. What have we become?

Monday, January 18, 2021

I weep for our future

One of the tragedies of today’s plugged-in world and its many distractions is that our young people grow up without a solid grounding in the key touchpoints of our shared heritage and ignorant of the contributions of the great people who have gone before us. I am referring of course to Tarzan. He is largely forgotten now, his early accomplishments dimmed by a series of disastrous business decisions, shady underworld connections, and a final decade as an embittered Tastee-Freez proprietor. His portrayal in the media as a shirtless goon who habitually stabs lions to death has further tarnished his legacy.

Monday, January 11, 2021


Let me get this straight. You’re a loyal capo, a good soldier. You do whatever the boss says. He says hit ‘em, you hit ‘em. You break the legs, you collect the vig, you take your cut. You circle the wagons, you rally the troops. Drink the Kool-Aid? Hell, you help mix it. Then the last big job goes very bad and the whole rotten operation starts to fall apart. Obviously, you’re all busted. So now you say you’re quitting the gang? And that makes you a good guy? Forget it. When a big zit pops, the pus runs out.

Monday, January 4, 2021

copy that

There is no excuse for lamb and feta sliders. The whole beauty of White Castle is that a sack of their little burgers costs something like five bucks and they are exactly the thing they are. Trying to make them “classy” is condescending and dumb. And it misses the whole point, like a custom shop Telecaster going for $20,000 when Leo Fender’s original idea was to mass-produce a factory guitar. “A Coke is a Coke and no amount of money can get you a better Coke than the one the bum on the corner is drinking.” Andy Warhol said that.