My Personal Creed

I believe that it is simply wrong for anyone to put mayonnaise on a corned beef sandwich at any time, and also that you might want to give tapioca another chance. I believe no person should make sweeping statements like “Violence is not the answer” without waiting to hear the question. I believe in electrical potential, and in the power of batteries. I believe in the healing properties of Pepto-Bismol, calamine lotion, and by extension all that is pink and viscous. And finally, I truly believe that Zorro and Tarzan would get along really well if they ever met.