Monday, September 23, 2019

Also rocketships with strings

Movies that start with helicopters, nudity, scuba diving, or speedboats are generally crap. Also movies having “blood” as the first word in the title. If the poster features a firearm as a prominent costar, again, generally crap. If, on the other hand, a shirtless dude is brandishing a weapon of any description while skimpily clad women serve as thigh candy (a term I myself coined), in that case, well, that’s probably crap too. These are safe predictions because, as has been previously noted, 98 percent everything is crap. Except monster movies where you can see the zipper. Those are great.

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