Explanations come to an end

Immanuel Kant could have used some hobbies. He should have built model railroads or hung out all day at comic book shops. Instead he filled volume after volume with maddening conceptual tail-chasing. That's what happens when smart people devote their energies to answering stupid questions. The meaning of life? It's in the dictionary. You want the meaning not of the word but of what the word represents? Stupid question – you know what “bicycle” means but you'd never ask for the meaning of your actual Schwinn. Take a ride in the park. You're not going to live forever, you know.

Muggles

California State Assemblyman Tom Ammiano is calling for the legalization of marijuana in his state. He's getting opposition from something called the National Narcotic Officers' Associations' Coalition, whose president points out that if reefer is legal “the people who drive the state's highways ... are going to be in danger from being hit by someone intoxicated from using cannabis.” Yup. At four miles per hour. I personally feel that NORML, the ACLU, and the NRA should merge into a single entity, taking the position that they're gonna get baked, say whatever they want to, and shoot anybody who says they can't.

Children of the Corn

So you get these exposés about our food supply, and here's the reaction: Squeamish parlor pinks seek out more expensive sources for their fodder to ensure that their sense of virtue is as untroubled as their digestion. And almost every other American reacts by doing nothing at all. What's to do? Our shoes are made by children in Asia, our clothes are sewn by paupers in Mexico. We've squandered America's bright promise, betrayed one another beyond any hope of reconciliation, and turned humanity's last best hope into a coast-to-coast parking lot. And now we're supposed to feel sorry for cows?

1914 also produced Ernest Tubb, Joe Louis, and Dorothy Lamour.

Nobel Peace Prize winner Norman Borlaug died last Saturday at 95. Borlaug should probably have been more famous, but agronomy isn't one of the really sexy fields of human endeavor. He got the Nobel for being one of the architects of the green revolution, innovations in agriculture that saved hundreds of millions of people from starvation. Thanks to him, today there can be more people facing famine than ever before in history. Talk about your moral ambiguity. Anyway, let's all take a few moments to remember Norman Borlaug, and try to say his name three times real fast without laughing.

I Won't Write:

I overslept and am feeling a bit wobbly. So you get a cut-and-paste rant:

“The working class and the employing class have nothing in common. There can be no peace so long as hunger and want are found among millions of the working people and the few, who make up the employing class, have all the good things of life.

Between these two classes a struggle must go on until the workers of the world organize as a class, take possession of the means of production, abolish the wage system, and live in harmony with the Earth.”

He'll keep directing till he needs glasses.

Am I the only person alive who thinks Tarantino is just the ultimate wanker fanboy? He was on NPR flogging his latest movie, and he said of course there were some adult parts. By that he meant scalpings, bludgeonings, and mutilations. Grown up stuff. And there are lots of people who use the term adult to mean entertainment featuring the exhibition of human genitalia. So apparently, adult content is defined as that which titillates smirking spotty junior-high boys. You know what would be funny? Open an Adult Bookstore, and it would be shelf after shelf of, like, Beckett and Wittgenstein.

In fairness, picayune actually means puny.

In this age of newspaper failures, the charmingly-named Times-Picayune is ahead of the curve. It failed some decades ago. They only keep printing it because they're too lazy to stop. The Sunday edition isn't any bigger than the daily except for a lot of ads, a really skimpy color funnies section, and Parade magazine (which avoids paying writers or editors by simply printing celebrity news releases verbatim). From the color sales inserts, I've learned the following apparently universal facts: Teenagers spend all their time playing air guitar. And having a really great laptop makes you want to use it barefoot.