Our Wacky Planet!

Okay. So. Norway is not the tulip and windmill country. It is not the flatpack furniture country. It is not the sauna country, the marijuana country, or the mermaid country. Not the wooden shoes, not the Legos. When you think about Norway, the two words that spring to mind should be “toxic mucus,” because Norway is home to the bootlace worm (Lineus longissimus), maybe the longest animal in the world. Like, 150 feet long and about a quarter inch thick. It feeds by squirting poison snot from its nose to immobilize its prey. I just thought you’d want to know.

From Wikipedia... really

“Crossover thrash … is a fusion genre of thrash metal and hardcore punk. The genre lies on a continuum between heavy metal and hardcore punk. Other genres … such as metalcore and grindcore, may overlap with crossover thrash. The genre is often confused with thrashcore, which is essentially faster hardcore punk rather than a more punk-oriented form of metal… The "-core" suffix of "thrashcore" is sometimes used to distinguish it from crossover thrash and thrash metal, the latter of which is often referred to simply as "thrash", which in turn is rarely used to refer to crossover thrash or thrashcore.”

Blue Monday

Colloidal silver is tiny bits of silver in a liquid suspension, marketed by some quacks and charlatans as a cure for HIV/AIDS, shingles, herpes, acne, cancer, and prostate troubles. It doesn’t work. But in sufficient doses, it does lead to argyria, where your skin permanently turns a grayish blue color. Which is weird, but safer than big doses of Hydroxychloroquine, which can destroy your retinas or stop your heart. So what would be fun is if the president started saying that this stuff cured Covid-19. Because after that it would be easy to identify the people who take him seriously.

cien palabras

The computer keeps teaching me Spanish, and I’m currently proficient enough to construct the sentence  “Nadia nunca nada con nadie,” which means “Nadia never swims with anybody,” a thing which I will probably never need to say. I’ll persevere, though, because knowing a foreign language may eventually prove useful. Like, imagine you were traveling in Germany and some new local pals suggested you do some souvenir shopping at a little place with a sign that said “Gift Hut.” Cool, right? No! Don’t do it! In German, “Gift Hut” means “poison hat” and that nifty Bavarian fedora will kill you dead.

I'm no critic, but...

Submarine movies are rarely particularly good, and they’re all pretty much the same. They have to shut off the motors and be real quiet and sweaty while the air goes bad and the enemy drops depth charges. Most naval-type story lines are not my cup of tea, except pirate movies when they run their hands through the treasure. Also, I hate when they make you think it’s going to be a monster movie but it’s actually an old dark house mystery with a snooty aunt and a plucky gal reporter. But you know what’s the worst of all? Lumberjack adventures.

Unintended Consequences

The French Quarter is shut down, and the rats don’t like it one bit. They’re scurrying around wondering where all the food went. To quote the mayor,  "What we have seen is these practices are driving our rodents crazy." (I think referring to them as “our rodents” is a nice bit of inclusivity.) So the city is putting out Warfarin to kill them. But my thought is a lot of these rats have been overindulging  for years on fried oysters, etouffee, red beans, beignets.  A little dose of blood thinner may be just what they need to extend their lives.

finger on the pulse

I’m so ahead of the curve I’m in my own back pocket, so fashion-forward that last week’s styles are already retro-chic, so on-trend that tomorrow has me on speed dial. Right now, my chosen beverage is lukewarm tap water in a Dixie cup, but I’m only breathing craft air. Music on vinyl? Not so much. I’m into a band so hip their new release is available only on two-inch 24 track or Edison cylinder. But I liked their earlier stuff more. Before they met each other. And actually they were best when they had another name and completely different members.