Never ate the silica gel, though.

It was years ago when I first stepped over that bright line, and then there was no going back. I removed tag (under penalty of law), and began a life of unapologetic transgression. Before long I was leaping before I looked, putting all my eggs in one basket and then counting the chickens before they hatched. I went looking for trouble, made mountains out of molehills, put the cart before the horse. Once I judged somebody before I’d walked a mile in their shoes. And lately, I have been attributing to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

The low-down on the load-out.

When I’m not writing the bestest little blog in the whole wide world, sometimes I am a bass player, generally defined as “someone who likes to hang around with musicians.” And I’ve made what I believe to be an important observation. People may be willing to accept and even embrace those with different skin tones, cultural heritages, political views, food preferences, hair styles, or intoxicant capacities. They can even coexist in harmony with those whose spiritual practices diverge broadly from their own. But everybody believes, deeply, that they know the one and only correct way to wrap a microphone cable.

Predictions for 2020

Nostradamus quit college when they closed the university due to the plague. Then his wife and their children died of the plague. So he invented a pill to cure the plague, which didn’t work but then neither did anything else. Later he wrote 942 four-line poems which prophesied our current world with astonishing accuracy. Here’s one:

“The sister's brother through the quarrel and deceit
Will come to mix dew in the mineral:
On the cake given to the slow old woman,
She dies tasting it she will be simple and rustic.”

Let’s see their so-called Science try to explain that!

Panic in Year Zero

We’ve been over this before, and the only reason I bring it up is that I’d rather be a tendentious pedantic bore than, well, not be a tendentious pedantic bore, I guess. 2020 is not the first year of a new decade. It’s the last year of the second decade of the twenty-first century. I’m arguing a lost cause here, I know. Ira Flatow, the science guy from public radio, was talking about the new decade. Et tu, NPR? So that’s it. I’ll shut up. But let me make one thing absolutely clear: I hold you all in utter contempt.

Also, a Mothman statue and a Bob Evans.

For those of you who might find yourselves in or around Gallipolis, Ohio, here’s a tip: You could do a lot worse than to cross the river to Point Pleasant, West Virginia, for a day of fun and edification. For one thing, that’s where the Silver Bridge fell down in 1967. It was the only place it could have fallen down, when you think about it. They also have the West Virginia Farm Museum, home to the largest taxidermy horse in the world. I’ve never been to Point Pleasant, but I’ll bet there’s lots more to see and do.

This is all I have to say about that

So far, the 100 word rant has achieved its nearly universal acclaim by avoiding controversy. We don’t take sides. This is not  a political blog. But I want to make something clear. They keep having these debates and as far as I’m concerned they don’t need to. The prospective candidates could instead take turns defecating into a big lawn and leaf bag. Then they could seal up the bag, dress it in a navy blue suit, and stick a flag pin on its lapel. And when November rolled around, I would enthusiastically vote for the actual literal sack of shit.

Don’t order the pesadillas!

Okay, I’ve been learning Spanish (I have one of those internets on my desk) for about an hour a day for several months now, which I think pretty much makes me an expert. Certainly, I’m qualified to give advice about the talking of it. Now, a lot of time in Spanish you can make a plural by adding an s. But not always. Like, even though “tu” means you, you would never ask the names of several people by saying “Como tus llamas?” That would lead them to understand that you wanted to consume their herd of Peruvian pack animals.